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A sad that I I couldn't experience through another sadness

7/24/2018

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I have been feeling awful about this for over two months.

My dad was not doing well and we were sure he was in his last days when we received the news of aunt Ruth passing away.  It was a shot in my gut, but all I could do was cry in shock as I concentrated on my dad.

​I will always feel sadness that I couldn't fully mourn the incredible loss of this great woman. Maybe I can now.

When I was a little kid I would spend my February vacation with my grandparents in Warwick, RI. They lived on the bottom floor of the house with Aunt Ruth and Uncle Cal. Their dog was Bingo. I'll admit when I was young all I really cared about was Bingo!

Aunt Ruth was a strong independent woman who lived her life after losing her husband her way and even when she died, she did it with strength. 

​Aunt Ruth took up lawn bowling later in life mostly, I think because she would help gramps get to the greens when he was in his 90s. She then continued to play after that for a few years  often joining my nephew Josh for some games.

I admit I don't know a great deal about her, my fault for not being around more. When we would see each other it was always great. Smiles and genuine happiness that we get to see each other again. The last time I saw her was at my nephew's wedding. I marveled at how much she now resembled her mother in many way. Similar walk and posture. She always looked more like my grandfather I thought, but on this day I saw gramma.

​I wanted to sit down today and remember stories of my aunt Ruth but sadly they aren't really coming to me, I heard so many stories from my brother who visited her often. Those come to mind.
​

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